I have a sudden realization of myself listening to people who manipulate me into believing in every word that comes out from their mouths.
And also, another type of people who wants others to be uniform with their own lives. My experience was, they purged me with negativities lies or impactful words that make me think twice before going forth towards my initial plan.
A life example, I have met a few who drop out of the university and go to work. I withdrew out from my acceptance due to financial. (Sometimes, I even think of why didn't just go straight to serve in the National Service (NS) straight after my diploma. Course fee for computer science at SIT is so expensive.) The few shared with me how was life like in universities and how difficult the courses were. One (Let's call her B) even assumed that I did not get in any university before even ask me if I have... I am not happy with the following sentences that she said to me that was insulting. I wanted B to apologize to me but five minutes after which she said that she had forgotten what she had said because it was a small matter to her.
And of course, it was hurtful to me. To make things worse, one of the guysfriends told me that B will not say awful things to me unless I go trigger her. I told him right in their face that nope I DID NOT.
But I moved on... until when one of the closest peers to her, A, keep on digging out this "past" of mine over lunch. At the last lunch, I told A about what she said to me and ask her what can she do after knowing about this. Can she ask her to apologize?
Guessed what?
A said that I was being emotional and even told me that B had dropped out from university anyway. and asked me to move on...
Very contradicting? I could say that it was B who decided to drop out of school. It would not change anything when B did insult me.
I had already moved on and told A, multiple times that I do not want to mention anything about it. A was the one who keeps on digging up my past. After that lunch, A did not ask me out for lunch anymore at this moment at least.
And now, I am even all alone now.
At least I did not reflect my pathetic life into others. Telling others that it is difficult so do not go. Then again, why did you even go in the first place?
Another even more vital example to mention is blogging. Once I was assumed to be rich just because I have a blog.
I aimed to document all of the positive lives I have and spread positive vibes. But sorry guys, I have decided to be off the internet. I do not know what am I reading on the internet. There so many negativities and drama going on with other people's lives and people nowadays seems to have two types of personality - one for the internet, one for the reality.
Okay, I need to flush out the negativities again. There are too many impurities in the air that I need to sweep out.
This reminds me of Xiaxue. She had filmed a video which included content about people having two personality-
After watching and reflecting on my life, I came in term with myself and made a conclusion that it is all about a person's character. At the end of the day, they are laughing and enjoying their life after making you feeling mystery and upset. They may or may not feel awful for their actions and how they could depict their life on you and advised you with their assumptions which mostly are deemed negativities. There are many things that you can be more concern about - Global warming, the amount of money that comes in and goes out from your bank every month and what to eat for lunch today.
Okay I shall stop here interruptly. I have a report to finish up.
Yours Sincerely,
Shirley Charlin